Grey Area's Top Ten Movies

Now I know taste in movies is completely subjective, so I'm not going to say Agent Orange has bad taste.  I will however, say that i think there is something wrong with his tongue.  Sure he has some great movies on his list, but there is always room for improvement (on his list not mine).  So without keeping you waiting any longer check out the movies that I love to love (comments are encouraged so please do it).


10. Christmas Vacation

"Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?"


SYNOPSIS: Family man Clark Griswald tries to put together the perfect Christmas.


I have watched this movie at least twice between thanksgiving and Christmas for around fifteen years.  Maybe it’s the fact that my family is nowhere near this level of dysfunctional, that I cannot imagine any family being this ridiculous.  Maybe it’s the comedic genius of Chevy Chase.  Whatever it is this movie always leaves me in stitches.




9. Taxi Driver

"Thank God for the rain to wash the trash off the sidewalk"


SYNOPSIS: Travis Bickle tries vigilante justice.


Anyone who thinks The Departed is Scorcese’s best film should be bludgeoned.  My personal favorite of his shows you don’t have to be sane to make to try and make a difference, and hey, I might be crazy for liking this movie so much.  Twelve year old prostitutes and attempted assassinations are just some of the things this movie has to offer.  Is Travis Bickle some deranged loony or the sanest person left in New York?  He has a .44 Magnum that will try and convince you of the latter.




8. The Godfather Part II

 "If anything in this life is certain, if history has taught us anything, it is that you can kill anyone. "


SYNOPSIS: Michael Corleone continues to increase his families power.


Not much to add to what Agent Orange has said about this movie, but I will separate it from the first because the duality of this film to me makes it superior in my mind.  The parallel story lines of Michael and Vito Corleone’s surges in power create an interesting dynamic.  It is hard to say who the better head of the family is; Vito or Michael?  One thing is certain though; they must make pretty good olive oil to have so much money.

7. The Prestige

"Are you watching closely?"

SYNOPSIS: A rivalry between two magicians escalates out of control.

Do I really have a movie about magicians in my top ten?! Yes!  If David Blaine and Chris Angel were not such douches they might be 1% as awesome as Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman.  This movie is about more than parlor tricks.  It is about revenge, deceit, envy, pride, and much more.  This is about as dark as it gets.  The professional rivalry and personal hatred shared by the two main characters should resonate powerfully in anyone who has ever wanted to succeed.  And with an ending more twisted than Ben Roethlisberger’s sex life, The Prestige delivers all the way through to the end.

6. The Hurt Locker

"There's enough bang in there to blow us all to Jesus. If I'm gonna die, I want to die comfortable. "

SYNOPSIS: An army bomb squad counts down their time left in the desert.

War movies based around infantry units are so played out.  Katherine Bigelow realized this and made clearly the best movie of 2009.  If anyone really likes Avatar more than this I will gladly place a swift kick in their genitals.  Watching someone try to diffuse a bomb might be more stressful than actually diffusing one yourself.  The toll of war on a person and the anticipation of a completed deployment are explored at a level rivaled by few films.  All in all this movie is da bomb…

5. Garden State

"Wow! I cannot believe you're not retarded!"

SYNOPSIS: Andrew Largeman gets more than he bargained for when he returns home.

This movie has romance and it has comedy, but I'm not ready to lump it in with romantic comedies.  The humor is so much more clever than the low brow, slap-stickesque jokes they pawn off as witty.  It’s the little things in the movie that make it funny.  The lives of these people are way too ordinary, and it seems almost more like a snapshot into the lives of regular folk, than a Hollywood interpretation of what we call reality.  Even though it is set in the Dirty Jersey, I won’t hold it against it.

4. Kill Bill

"That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die."

SYNOPSIS: Left for dead a woman looks for revenge.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and scorned this woman is.  Of course both volumes make the film in its entirety, because vol. 2 is not a sequel.  The homage’s paid to film genres of old make this film more than just a violent epic, they make it the greatest violent epic.  The dialogue is intelligent and the action is top notch.  The simplicity of the main story line along with the incredibly interesting back stories make for a truly great film.

3. Snatch

"You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity." / "isfermema"

SYNOPSIS: I got nothing, watch it then you try...

It’s hard to know where to begin with this movie because it has so much going on during the course of it becoming overwhelmed seems very plausible the first time.  But the complexity of the story is probably one of the most endearing things about this Guy Ritchie masterpiece.  Small time crime and big time crime collide and create something that people can’t help but love.  One of my favorite movies to quote, who wouldn’t love a movie with replica guns, overweight getaway drivers, or Brad Pitt playing an Irish gypsy?

2. Top Gun

"Too close for missles, I'm switching to guns."

SYNOPSIS: Maverick and Goose try to prove their the best in the Navy

In my mind Top Gun is the greatest thing to come out of the 80s besides me and two Redskins Super Bowl wins.  This timeless classic more than makes up for all of Tom Cruise’s involvement in scientology.  I have loved this movie since the first time I saw it when I was nine.  I don’t know how many times I have seen it since then, *SPOILER ALERT* but I still get choked up every time Goose dies (I watched it today).  I will go ahead and make one of those bold statements of mine Agent Orange is so fond of, and say that no machine humans have ever created is more aesthetically pleasing than the F-14 Tomcat.  I am still waiting to this day to find the perfect wingman (pun intended) to try the “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling” pick up technique with.

1. Fight Club

"On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero."

SYNOPSIS: A man learns who he really is

I have absolutely loved this movie since I was thirteen, and back then I didn’t even fully understand what was going on.  Every time I watch this I reconsider all of my materialistic short comings, and vow to try and work my way towards the ideals of Tyler Durden.  I fail every time, but this summer my lazy unemployed self isn’t doing too terrible of a job (although once pay checks start up again I will probably fall back off the wagon).  It is because of this movie I know I am not a beautiful or unique snow flake, and if I blow up my living space in an attempt to rediscover myself… well don’t blame Fight Club, I love it too much!

Best of the Rest:

-The Silence of the Lambs

-Pulp Fiction

-Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

-Requiem for a Dream

-Watchmen

Agent Orange's Top 10 Movies of all time... for now

ENCODED MESSAGE // FROM: AGENT ORANGE

I’ve been thinking about doing this since we first started LNGchz. I was a tad too timid at the time but if my trip to Bonnaroo taught me anything it’s to be BOLD (Grey Matter knows what I’m talking about). SO I’m stepping up my game and I’m gonna flat out tell you… these are the best movies I’ve ever seen. Be wary… considering I haven’t been up on my movies in a while these movie are susceptible to change at anytime and believe me I’ll post them when necessary!

Let’s do this…

No. 10 Mallrats

“You fuckers think just because a guy reads comics he can’t start some shit!?”

SYNOPSIS: “Two slacker hang out in mall after being dumped by their girlfriends.”

You’re probably saying to yourself… “Wait a minute, Agent Orange! You’re number 10 favorite movie begins with the line “One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his ass!?” YES! The reason Mallrats gets the nod at No. 10 is because it’s a movie where the character’s dialogue is essentially about nothing… NOTHING… like most conversation in real life! Heated debates such as “Is the cookie shop apart of the food court or is it just mid mall snacking?” and “Can Superman fuck regular chicks without killing them?” are settled in this very movie. I usually rip on jersey every chance I get, but the arm pit of America did something useful for once by producing one of the funniest writers in the industry and the only comedy on my list. Kudos to Kevin Smith! (brb I’m going to go watch it right now!)  

No. 9 Layer Cake

“You’re born, you take shit. You get out in the world, you take shit. You climb a little higher you take less shit. ‘Til one day you’re up into the rarefied atmosphere and you’ve forgotten what shit even looks like. Welcome to the Layer Cake, son.”

SYNOPSIS: “A successful cocaine dealer gets two tough assignments from his boss on the eve of his planned early retirement.”

You know when you’re tired and you put on a movie to go to sleep… well I had seen every movie in my collection and I was looking for some new blood, so I asked my roommate for a movie and he gave me LAYER CAKE and shut the door in my face being it was 3 o’clock in the morning. I had no prior information about this movie and I put it in expecting to dose off mid opening credit, but it grabbed my eye lids and glued them to my forehead. Layer Cake is, in my book, a very rare and new take on the gangster film in terms of the main character isn’t the common wise guy with something to prove. He gets what he needs done all in hopes of leaving the life behind. Hell, he doesn’t even have a gun but substitutes it for his smart wit. I know all you Scarface fans are like that’s lame, Agent Orange, but there is some violence in there for you and oh yea… Sienna Miller = Gorgeous!

No. 8 Ninja Scroll

“If you want the company of devils, you’d better hurry back to hell…”

SYNOPSIS: “A wandering Ninja, get’s dragged into a civil war in Feudal Japan.”

Yes… A fucking ninja, you nay sayers!!! This is the first anime I’ve ever seen and I will never underestimated cartoons again. This movie is the best animated feature I’ve ever seen from the opening rape scene (from what I hear Grey Area would get a kick out of that jk jk) to the literal eye popping sword battles our hero finds himself in. Don’t slouch on this Japanese masterpiece. I advise you get your ass to the nearest video store and add it to your collection… NOW!

No. 7 Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back

“Who you calling scruffy lookin’?”

SYNOPSIS: “While Luke Skywalker advances his Jedi training… his friends are ruthlessly pursued by Darth Vader.”

This movie is the best of the original trilogy nay the complete anthology and I’m willing to fight you if you say otherwise just type your address in the comment box and I’ll show you what the dark side is all about. Empire is by far the darkest of the trilogy and the most fast paced. While A New Hope was a fun ride and Return of the Jedi was a class act joke in my book, Empire proved it is the realest of the bunch by showing true character development (something that Lucas lacks on a grand scale). Han Solo steals the movie from under Luke’s nose bringing his lady love, Leia, with him for some serious time in the spotlight. Billy Dee Williams proves there are black people a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away and Oh yea… Vader proves why he’s the baddest mother fucker in the galaxy... ‘Nuff Said!  

No 6. Goodfellas

“As far back as I can remember. I always wanted to be a gangster.”

SYNOPSIS: “We witness Henry Hill’s rise to low level gangster and fall to rat bastard.”

If there is any gangster film you have to see it’s Goodfellas. “But Agent Orange, what about Scarface and American Gangster?” FUCK SCARFACE AND FUCK AMERICAN GANGSTER!!! They aren’t on the level of Goodfellas and they never will be. I grew up watching this movie because it was a favorite in my family. Of course, I didn’t understand it at the tender age of 6… I just saw guns, drugs, and Joe Pesci and Robert DeNiro offing guys left and right and I thought, “Damn this movie is awesome!” (Don’t Judge me). Don’t get me wrong, I still think that said debauchery is “awesome”, but when I matured to the point I could comprehend the characters and story I realized this movie is more than just a shoot ‘em up Gangster film with a bunch of funny talking wise guys. It’s a great story of three guys making their way in the world and their collapse. Whenever you watch this movie, you can’t tell me you weren’t mad when Karen flushes Henry’s remaining cocaine down the toilet. So remember kids, stay away from loose women, incompetent friends, and blow… and you too may be a wise guy one day.

No. 5 The Godfather 1 & 2 (Shut up it’s my list and these two count as one)

“Never hate your enemies. If affects your judgment.”

SYNOPSIS: “With the fall of Don Corleone comes the rise of his much colder son, Michael Corleone.”

“Two (Three… well four if you count Layer Cake) Gangster movies in a row, Agent Orange!?” YEP! It’s something about gangster movies that bring out the best in cinema! To quote the Geto Boys, “Damn it feels good to be a gangster”. Ok, I thought that the Godfather movies were for older people when I was younger and there was no way I was ever going to like them, but what do you know, now I’m one of those old people telling my little cousins to watch it knowing damn well they are calling me an old fart for trying to get them to watch the Godfather over Scarface. The Godfather is the best rise to power movie I’ve ever seen period. Al Pacino is a monster as Michael Corleone. I have nightmares of him ordering a hit on me every time I fall asleep after watching this movie… and you can take that as a compliment. What the fuck are you waiting for call out of work, get some popcorn, and lock the doors! You’re in for the greatest gangster experience of your life!

No. 4 The Dark Knight

“And here… we… go!”

SYNOPSIS: “Batman, Jim Gordon, and Harvey Dent are pushed to their limits dealing the Anarchist mastermind only known as The Joker.”

If you haven’t seen this movie… drop what you’re doing and go die in a corner. The highest grossing superhero film of all time and one of the best sequels I’ve ever seen. The Dark Knight has everything movie goers can wish for… action, comedy (a little dark at times), and drama. I’m in heaven whenever I watch this movie. The thing about this movie is that its script is not your typical superhero script. It’s so down to earth you could’ve easily replaced Batman with a disgruntled cop and the Joker with a clean faced psychopath. The Dark Knight is proof that superheroes movise can have moved on from campy story telling and lame characterization… either way you play it’s BOX OFFICE GOLD!!! This movie should’ve gotten an Oscar without Heath Ledger having to die.

No. 3 Boogie Nights

“I got a feeling that behind those jeans is something wonderful waiting to get out.”

SYNOPSIS: “A story of a young man’s venture into the California porn industry of the 70s and 80s.”

I’ve never seen or heard about this movie until my junior year in high school. I was bored out of my mind one day and I went browsing through my cousin’s DVD collection and decided to watch something new and then Boogie Nights caught my eye and I gave the DVD case a glance and saw a slew of great actors all bundled up in this one movie: Mark Walhberg, Burt Reynolds, Julianne Moore, Don Cheadle, Heather Graham, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Thomas Jane, Robert Downey Sr., John C. Riley, and Luis Guzmán. I was dumbfounded I had never heard of this movie before. Without hesitation I popped the DVD in… and two in a half glorious hours later it was done and I said to myself, “I just watched the rise and fall of a porn star… and I liked it!” But it’s more than just pseudo porn, you pervs, it’s a great story which sticks to the theme of family… through all the trials of these fucked up porn stars (no pun intended) go through they struggle to stay a family and live their lives in a world where they are looked down upon. Go check this movie out! Too ashamed to buy it? I’ll lend you my copy!

No. 2 Cruel Intentions

“You have killer legs. I’d like to photograph them…”

SYNOPSIS: “Kathryn makes a bet that her step-brother, Sebastian, can’t bed Annette, the headmaster’s virgin daughter who believes in waiting for true love. If he loses, Kathryn gets his Jaguar, if he wins, he gets Kathryn.”

Based on the French novel by Choderlos de Laclos, Les Liaisons dangereuses (That’s Dangerous Liaisons in French) this movie is a story so packed with drama you can’t help but be dragged into the lives of the characters. This movie was one of those movies I was ashamed to say I owned because I thought it was a chick flick and then I realized this movie is far from a chick flick. For Christ sake, it’s about sex, drugs, lies and deceit the building blocks of the greatest drama of the 90s. Watching this movie, you truly will witness one of the greatest character transformation in Sebastian Valmont (Ryan Phillippe) and one can’t help but love Sarah Michelle Gellar’s  portrayal as the manipulative bitch that is Kathryn Merteuil… gentlemen looking for a movie to impress your girls? Well look no further than Cruel Intentions!
P.S. Sarah Michelle Gellar and Selma Blair make out hardcore in this one.

No. 1 Pulp Fiction

“They call it a Royale with Cheese”

SYNOPSIS: “The lives of two mob hit men, a boxer, a gangster’s wife, and a pair of diner bandits intertwine in four tales of awesomeness.”

You thought I forgot about Tarantino didn’t you? No fucking way I was going to forget Pulp Fiction. This movie mind fucked me the first time I saw it. Literal DICK to MIND penetration. I was at the barber shop getting my haircut when I first saw it. I was so captivated by it I tied to get a glance at it every chance I got… even resorting to looking at the television’s reflection in the mirror to see it. When my hair cut was over some asshole had changed the television to The Maury Show (No ill will toward Maury, I like ignorant people embarrassing themselves on television as much as the next guy, but I had to see the rest of this movie). So upon leaving the barber shop, I remembered that the adult video store next door had legit DVDs in the front of the store and I prayed to god Pulp Fiction was among those movies on the near empty shelves. And there it was an unopened deluxe edition of the movie all mine for the taking. For the first time, I left that video store with my dignity in tact as I walked back to my house and watched it a dozen times. What I dug the most about Pulp Fiction was the witty dialogue. Everything seemed to snap and pop from the actors like they were born to play these parts. In all honesty, it took me a half hour to decide what quote to use at the top of this pick. Pulp fiction didn’t only entertain me, it single handedly brought Travolta and Willis’s career’s back to life and introduced Sam Jackson as the bad mother fucker he would play in the millions roles he would get afterward. 

GET IT. WATCH IT. LOVE IT. QUOTE IT.

NOTABLE MENTIONS (So close, yet so far away…):
-The Departed
-Menace to Society
-Kill Bill 1 & 2 (It was made as one movie assholes)
-Gladiator
-Fight Club
-Terminator 2

Bold enough to tell me your top 10? Leave your list in a comment…

END//TRANSMISSION

--Agent Orange